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Dreams EP was released on December 30, 2018 on Rose Brown's SoundCloud account.
Dreams contains 7 Original tracks that were all written, performed, recorded, produced, and released by Rose Brown. 1. Circus 2. Loud 3. Kingdom 4. Mistress 5. Silence 6. Why 7. Fake Friends |
about the name...
At first, I thought about naming the entire album after the first single, Loud. But, as I thought about the project, I realized Loud didn't really fit it. I wanted to give this album it's own name and moment to shine on its own.
During the early part of 2018, I decided to fill the wall above my bed with nothing but dream catchers. All of the dream catchers helped to not only inspire a song (that is currently unreleased), but it also sparked my idea for the name of this album! Especially after I hung a light on the same wall that helped to illuminate my first dream catcher in such a magnificent way. The moment I saw it, I knew I had to take a picture and make it an album cover. The rest is history.
During the early part of 2018, I decided to fill the wall above my bed with nothing but dream catchers. All of the dream catchers helped to not only inspire a song (that is currently unreleased), but it also sparked my idea for the name of this album! Especially after I hung a light on the same wall that helped to illuminate my first dream catcher in such a magnificent way. The moment I saw it, I knew I had to take a picture and make it an album cover. The rest is history.
the story behind...
track 1 - CIRCUS
Fun Fact: I am a licensed Cosmetologist in the state of Georgia. Also, I worked behind the chair for about four years. Originally, it was just supposed to be a "back-up plan" if my dream of being a musician didn't work out. However, the more I did hair, the deeper into the industry and lifestyle I got. At first, I really enjoyed it and didn't mind putting music on a back burner.
By 2018, however, I realized I couldn't do it anymore. I was working as a hair stylist at a salon where I definitely didn't fit in. My boss and I were no longer seeing eye-to-eye and I was completely burned out and living off of auto pilot.
I was putting my real dreams on hold.... and for what? I was 21, living at home, with supportive parents, and very few bills... It didn't make sense to continue to sacrifice my happiness and life to a job and employer that made my life feel like a living hell, most days.
The only problem was I had no idea how to quit. I had formed a wonderful relationship with a few of my clients and didn't want to let them down. Instead, I chose to keep holding on and prayed that a sign would come when it was time for me to leave for good.
Finally, in August of 2018, I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to end a children's entertainer convention (KIDabra) in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. In fact, I was awarded a very highly regarded scholarship (The Lefler Scholarship) which granted me the financial ability to attend the event (and bring my mom with me!) My mom and I ended up going and had an absolutely life changing week. In fact, I found my "puppet pal", Scooter! Something about him brought me back to life and inspired me to come home and take life on with a newly discovered passion. (And my rediscovered love for performing music for people).
When I returned home, I had a new lease on life and was finally feeling like myself for the first time in a long time. In fact, I ordered 500 double-sided business cards for my music and puppetry business a few nights after getting back. I was so excited and figured I could handle juggling entertainment and hair. But, God had other plans.
The day after I ordered all of the business cards, my boss fired me. Even though a lot of the things she said to me hurt (and still haunt me two years later), I knew that that was my sign that I was going in the right direction with, not just my career, but my life, as well.
Circus is a concept that I came up with while thinking about how my ex-co-workers probably perceived me, my "crazy" dreams, and the idea of me being a puppeteer. I knew I couldn't let the judgment of these people (who were acquaintances at best) control me, anymore. For me, Circus is a celebration of embracing the unknown of dreams instead of the comforts we're told we should want. While it's good to have some consistency in life, it's also not good to sacrifice yourself to something (or someone) that would never do the same for you.
Even though I had a negative experience working as a Master of Cosmetology in two different salons, I would never wish bad on a single co-worker, boss, client, or peer I had in the industry. Honestly, working in that industry for so long helped to shape me into the person I am today. While some moments felt like torture, I feel extremely blessed to have had the experiences I did.
By 2018, however, I realized I couldn't do it anymore. I was working as a hair stylist at a salon where I definitely didn't fit in. My boss and I were no longer seeing eye-to-eye and I was completely burned out and living off of auto pilot.
I was putting my real dreams on hold.... and for what? I was 21, living at home, with supportive parents, and very few bills... It didn't make sense to continue to sacrifice my happiness and life to a job and employer that made my life feel like a living hell, most days.
The only problem was I had no idea how to quit. I had formed a wonderful relationship with a few of my clients and didn't want to let them down. Instead, I chose to keep holding on and prayed that a sign would come when it was time for me to leave for good.
Finally, in August of 2018, I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to end a children's entertainer convention (KIDabra) in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. In fact, I was awarded a very highly regarded scholarship (The Lefler Scholarship) which granted me the financial ability to attend the event (and bring my mom with me!) My mom and I ended up going and had an absolutely life changing week. In fact, I found my "puppet pal", Scooter! Something about him brought me back to life and inspired me to come home and take life on with a newly discovered passion. (And my rediscovered love for performing music for people).
When I returned home, I had a new lease on life and was finally feeling like myself for the first time in a long time. In fact, I ordered 500 double-sided business cards for my music and puppetry business a few nights after getting back. I was so excited and figured I could handle juggling entertainment and hair. But, God had other plans.
The day after I ordered all of the business cards, my boss fired me. Even though a lot of the things she said to me hurt (and still haunt me two years later), I knew that that was my sign that I was going in the right direction with, not just my career, but my life, as well.
Circus is a concept that I came up with while thinking about how my ex-co-workers probably perceived me, my "crazy" dreams, and the idea of me being a puppeteer. I knew I couldn't let the judgment of these people (who were acquaintances at best) control me, anymore. For me, Circus is a celebration of embracing the unknown of dreams instead of the comforts we're told we should want. While it's good to have some consistency in life, it's also not good to sacrifice yourself to something (or someone) that would never do the same for you.
Even though I had a negative experience working as a Master of Cosmetology in two different salons, I would never wish bad on a single co-worker, boss, client, or peer I had in the industry. Honestly, working in that industry for so long helped to shape me into the person I am today. While some moments felt like torture, I feel extremely blessed to have had the experiences I did.
track 2 - LOUD
** Removed from Streaming**
Loud is the first song I released for Dreams. I believe I put it out on October 2, 2018. Since then, my life has changed significantly, and a lot of it has to do because of this song. Maybe it sounds crazy to say that a song could actually change your life, but it's not as far-fetched as it sounds, I promise.
This song was inspired by me finally accepting a crush I had for a while.
For context, I've had many friendships end because I formed a crush, the truth got out, and things ended up getting out of hand. When I first realized I was starting to feel something for this paramour, I knew I couldn't accept it. Not because he was a bad guy or anything, but because of who he was in my life. I can't tell you how many nights I spent trying to deny, pray away, or force the idea of this crush to the back of my mind. I convinced myself that it was easier to discredit my feelings than it would be to accept and live with them.
The day I broke down and realized I had to finally recognize my attraction, happened to be a day where he and I were attending a party together. We spent an entire day laughing, playing games, trying Gentleman Jack, and just being friends with a few of our mutuals. Through out the party, there were little moments that would light tiny fires inside of me, the smoke sending lyrics into my brain. Silently and as sneakily as I could, I would take my phone out and type the words into a note, praying to God that he wouldn't see what I was writing.
A few days later, I broke out my guitar and decided to try to bang the lyrics I'd written at the party into an actual song. As I was transferring the lyrics to my computer, though, I ended up getting extremely frustrated with myself. Almost all of the lines were just me talking about how "wrong" it was for me to feel what I did, that I "shouldn't" like him the way I did... basically, I was ranting and raving about these feelings, denying myself the right to just own up to it because "what if he heard this song, some day".
In that moment I realized that limiting myself wasn't going to get me anywhere and decided to just put it all on the line. For the first time ever, I wrote a song that felt so extremely raw and real. Not that I didn't write about how I felt in the past, but it was a nice change to tell myself that I could write whatever I wanted without fear of the outcome. Plus, how can you be creative when you keep putting limitations on yourself?
It took me several months to get a recording of Loud that I thought I could work with. In that time, I kept getting hung up on one part, and would wind up frustrated because I couldn't get any of it out and sounding right. I spent many hours singing different versions of this song, yet somehow coming to the same conclusion of the song not feeling "finished" vocally. For some reason, the song Jekyll and Hyde by Five Finger Death Punch started coming to my mind. I was inspired by the beginning of the song where they play an audio clip of the lead singer, Ivan, speaking the words in a voice mail. I ended up experimenting and trying some new things when it came to not only recording, but mixing, as well. A few months after I first was inspired, I finally had a version of Loud that made me so excited and proud. I knew that there was something special about that song and I had to do something with it, I just didn't know what or when or how......
I went back and forth for a while about whether or not I wanted to release it. As much as I loved the song, I knew I was taking a huge risk putting my truth out onto the internet for the world to hear. I felt so much anxiety as I worried about my crush finding out and our dynamic shifting in a negative way. I had several conversations with trusted friends about what I should do, and all of them were on the same page: POST IT!!! Eventually, I knew I couldn't hold onto this song forever. Even if it made things so unbelievably awkward and uncomfortable in my daily life, I could just feel how special the song was and had to do something with it. Music was and is my first love. As much as it terrified me to put out there, I did it anyway because I had faith in whatever good would come.
Two years later, that song still means a lot to me, even if it has changed a lot of my life, in both negative and positive ways. On the bright side, it completely changed my approach to being honest with myself about how I feel, lyric writing, and recording songs. It taught me to just trust the process and go with the flow. Releasing Loud also encouraged me to write, record and release more music. I felt proud of myself and excited because I finally did something I always talked about.
On the other hand, there have been some not-so-nice outcomes, too. Friendships, reputations, and trust ended up getting tarnished as a partial result of this song being released. He found out the truth but didn't handle it well. I've wondered if certain circumstances were different, if things could have been a lot nicer and smoother for us, but things happened the way they did for a reason. Even though things got kinda hairy, I'm still extremely glad and proud that I released Loud. It has helped me grow as a musician and individual, and I'm really glad that I'm the person that got to write this song! ☺
This song was inspired by me finally accepting a crush I had for a while.
For context, I've had many friendships end because I formed a crush, the truth got out, and things ended up getting out of hand. When I first realized I was starting to feel something for this paramour, I knew I couldn't accept it. Not because he was a bad guy or anything, but because of who he was in my life. I can't tell you how many nights I spent trying to deny, pray away, or force the idea of this crush to the back of my mind. I convinced myself that it was easier to discredit my feelings than it would be to accept and live with them.
The day I broke down and realized I had to finally recognize my attraction, happened to be a day where he and I were attending a party together. We spent an entire day laughing, playing games, trying Gentleman Jack, and just being friends with a few of our mutuals. Through out the party, there were little moments that would light tiny fires inside of me, the smoke sending lyrics into my brain. Silently and as sneakily as I could, I would take my phone out and type the words into a note, praying to God that he wouldn't see what I was writing.
A few days later, I broke out my guitar and decided to try to bang the lyrics I'd written at the party into an actual song. As I was transferring the lyrics to my computer, though, I ended up getting extremely frustrated with myself. Almost all of the lines were just me talking about how "wrong" it was for me to feel what I did, that I "shouldn't" like him the way I did... basically, I was ranting and raving about these feelings, denying myself the right to just own up to it because "what if he heard this song, some day".
In that moment I realized that limiting myself wasn't going to get me anywhere and decided to just put it all on the line. For the first time ever, I wrote a song that felt so extremely raw and real. Not that I didn't write about how I felt in the past, but it was a nice change to tell myself that I could write whatever I wanted without fear of the outcome. Plus, how can you be creative when you keep putting limitations on yourself?
It took me several months to get a recording of Loud that I thought I could work with. In that time, I kept getting hung up on one part, and would wind up frustrated because I couldn't get any of it out and sounding right. I spent many hours singing different versions of this song, yet somehow coming to the same conclusion of the song not feeling "finished" vocally. For some reason, the song Jekyll and Hyde by Five Finger Death Punch started coming to my mind. I was inspired by the beginning of the song where they play an audio clip of the lead singer, Ivan, speaking the words in a voice mail. I ended up experimenting and trying some new things when it came to not only recording, but mixing, as well. A few months after I first was inspired, I finally had a version of Loud that made me so excited and proud. I knew that there was something special about that song and I had to do something with it, I just didn't know what or when or how......
I went back and forth for a while about whether or not I wanted to release it. As much as I loved the song, I knew I was taking a huge risk putting my truth out onto the internet for the world to hear. I felt so much anxiety as I worried about my crush finding out and our dynamic shifting in a negative way. I had several conversations with trusted friends about what I should do, and all of them were on the same page: POST IT!!! Eventually, I knew I couldn't hold onto this song forever. Even if it made things so unbelievably awkward and uncomfortable in my daily life, I could just feel how special the song was and had to do something with it. Music was and is my first love. As much as it terrified me to put out there, I did it anyway because I had faith in whatever good would come.
Two years later, that song still means a lot to me, even if it has changed a lot of my life, in both negative and positive ways. On the bright side, it completely changed my approach to being honest with myself about how I feel, lyric writing, and recording songs. It taught me to just trust the process and go with the flow. Releasing Loud also encouraged me to write, record and release more music. I felt proud of myself and excited because I finally did something I always talked about.
On the other hand, there have been some not-so-nice outcomes, too. Friendships, reputations, and trust ended up getting tarnished as a partial result of this song being released. He found out the truth but didn't handle it well. I've wondered if certain circumstances were different, if things could have been a lot nicer and smoother for us, but things happened the way they did for a reason. Even though things got kinda hairy, I'm still extremely glad and proud that I released Loud. It has helped me grow as a musician and individual, and I'm really glad that I'm the person that got to write this song! ☺
track 3 - KINGDOM
The day after I got fired from my salon job, I went to a Halloween Store with my significant other and tried a crown on. Being a young adult in the 21st century, I took my phone out so I could take a "selfie". When I saw myself, I was instantly inspired. Between the frustration I had from the day before, and something about seeing myself in a crown, I had a "Queen of Hearts" moment.
You know, the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland?
The one that screams, "OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!"
For some reason, this "crown" gave me a feeling of power I hadn't felt in a while. Maybe it was my "Leo Pride" coming to the surface to say hello, a glimpse of the "real me" excitedly peaking through the remains of the person I created while I was a hair stylist, or just a little moment I had in a costume shop because I was full of different emotions and feelings. Whatever it was, it inspired me to write this song!
Truthfully, I don't remember much about the recording process for this song. I think at one point, I wanted to have a part where I yelled "Off with her head!", but I never did it. I'm kind of glad because I don't know if it would have fit with the feeling the song ended up having. In a sense, I think this song was a sort of sense of me taking back whatever power I had let being a hairstylist took, if that makes sense.
You know, the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland?
The one that screams, "OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!"
For some reason, this "crown" gave me a feeling of power I hadn't felt in a while. Maybe it was my "Leo Pride" coming to the surface to say hello, a glimpse of the "real me" excitedly peaking through the remains of the person I created while I was a hair stylist, or just a little moment I had in a costume shop because I was full of different emotions and feelings. Whatever it was, it inspired me to write this song!
Truthfully, I don't remember much about the recording process for this song. I think at one point, I wanted to have a part where I yelled "Off with her head!", but I never did it. I'm kind of glad because I don't know if it would have fit with the feeling the song ended up having. In a sense, I think this song was a sort of sense of me taking back whatever power I had let being a hairstylist took, if that makes sense.
track 4 - MISTRESS
I knew this song was controversial the moment I wrote it. I didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression of me or think that I was sneaking around with somebody's husband (no thank you!) when I literally just wrote the song for fun, one night.
I was just sitting on my bed one night, running my fingers through my hair, when I watched some of the strands descend from my hand to my sheets. As I watched the hairs fall, the first lines of the song came into my mind. I had no idea where the lyrics came from, but I just went for it. It was one of the first songs I ever wrote that didn't have a connection to a person in my life.
I took on this imaginary role of being somebody's mistress and wound up writing a story about pining for them so badly that "I" would do petty little shit to try and end their marriage (like leave hairs on the mattress or use all of her perfume.) I know a lot of wives/girlfriends are probably rolling their eyes at me, right now.
Just to clear the air, in case i didn't make it obvious enough: I AM NOBODY'S MISTRESS, I HAVE NEVER BEEN NOR WILL I EVER BE.
I'M SORRY IF YOU HAVE INSECURITIES, BUT DON'T GET MAD AT ME! TAKE IT UP WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. THANK YOU.
I was just sitting on my bed one night, running my fingers through my hair, when I watched some of the strands descend from my hand to my sheets. As I watched the hairs fall, the first lines of the song came into my mind. I had no idea where the lyrics came from, but I just went for it. It was one of the first songs I ever wrote that didn't have a connection to a person in my life.
I took on this imaginary role of being somebody's mistress and wound up writing a story about pining for them so badly that "I" would do petty little shit to try and end their marriage (like leave hairs on the mattress or use all of her perfume.) I know a lot of wives/girlfriends are probably rolling their eyes at me, right now.
Just to clear the air, in case i didn't make it obvious enough: I AM NOBODY'S MISTRESS, I HAVE NEVER BEEN NOR WILL I EVER BE.
I'M SORRY IF YOU HAVE INSECURITIES, BUT DON'T GET MAD AT ME! TAKE IT UP WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. THANK YOU.
track 5 - SILENCE
I wrote this song back in 2016 about a couple I was friends with. They were starting to go through the "unravel" phase of their relationship and I was there to witness the very beginning. At the time, I thought it was just another dry spell and that things would maybe be okay. But, in reality, their world was starting to come undone and the only thing they could do was let go.
Being friends with both of them, there were times where I felt like I was kind of in the middle of the storm with them. She would confide in me in late night texts or whenever we'd have a spare moment alone. She would voice her fears, frustrations, and concerns about things that he did or said that didn't add up. At the same time, I knew him and his character. Plus, I also knew that he was gearing up to propose to her, and that was a possible cause for him being a little out of character.
While I was at work one day, I began thinking about their relationship and a conversation she and I had had. For some reason, it sparked inspiration and lyrics began to flow into my mind. I got out my phone and released the words into my notepad so I wouldn't forget a single idea that was being born in that moment.
When it was time for me to sit down and put the words to music, Silence was pretty simple. In fact, it has been roughly the same song since the day I wrote it. I definitely can't say that about some of my other songs (like Loud). If I could go back and change one thing, I'd maybe shorten it a little so it's not as long. But, it is what it is! :)
This song is a raw glimpse into the ending of a relationship. It's the silence that happens when you're starting to give up the fight, but you haven't really admitted it to yourself, yet. You've spent this time with this person who you love and cherish, but neither of you are really happy, anymore. You keep wishing things could go back to the way they were in the beginning, but it's too late and there's nothing you can do but just let it happen. Relationships go one of two ways: lasting forever or they end. Unfortunately, sometimes, we don't get a say in the matter.
Being friends with both of them, there were times where I felt like I was kind of in the middle of the storm with them. She would confide in me in late night texts or whenever we'd have a spare moment alone. She would voice her fears, frustrations, and concerns about things that he did or said that didn't add up. At the same time, I knew him and his character. Plus, I also knew that he was gearing up to propose to her, and that was a possible cause for him being a little out of character.
While I was at work one day, I began thinking about their relationship and a conversation she and I had had. For some reason, it sparked inspiration and lyrics began to flow into my mind. I got out my phone and released the words into my notepad so I wouldn't forget a single idea that was being born in that moment.
When it was time for me to sit down and put the words to music, Silence was pretty simple. In fact, it has been roughly the same song since the day I wrote it. I definitely can't say that about some of my other songs (like Loud). If I could go back and change one thing, I'd maybe shorten it a little so it's not as long. But, it is what it is! :)
This song is a raw glimpse into the ending of a relationship. It's the silence that happens when you're starting to give up the fight, but you haven't really admitted it to yourself, yet. You've spent this time with this person who you love and cherish, but neither of you are really happy, anymore. You keep wishing things could go back to the way they were in the beginning, but it's too late and there's nothing you can do but just let it happen. Relationships go one of two ways: lasting forever or they end. Unfortunately, sometimes, we don't get a say in the matter.
track 6 - WHY
I wrote this song about my first love.
I had a dream about him one night and woke up the next morning feeling so upset because it felt so realistic. At first I began to wonder if there was a deeper meaning to it -- maybe we really were meant to be together, he's secretly in love with me, maybe I should reach out to him.
I never went looking for answers. We're two different people than we were in high school. Even though I will forever have a special love for him, we weren't meant to be. And honestly? That's okay. He's in a great relationship and I'm living out the dream I always wanted to. Plus, I got this song out of it! So, I think we all know who the real winner is ;)
I was at work when I started writing this song. I was thinking about the dream and the way it made me felt, the next thing I knew, I had lyrics being scribbled down. At one point, I sneaked to the break room and quietly sang the melody into a voice memo so I wouldn't forget how it went.
I don't remember much about the recording process. I know I had the thought to give it an 80s feeling, but I don't know if I did that, exactly. I do know that part of the second verse makes me think of the band R.E.M, for some reason.
I had a dream about him one night and woke up the next morning feeling so upset because it felt so realistic. At first I began to wonder if there was a deeper meaning to it -- maybe we really were meant to be together, he's secretly in love with me, maybe I should reach out to him.
I never went looking for answers. We're two different people than we were in high school. Even though I will forever have a special love for him, we weren't meant to be. And honestly? That's okay. He's in a great relationship and I'm living out the dream I always wanted to. Plus, I got this song out of it! So, I think we all know who the real winner is ;)
I was at work when I started writing this song. I was thinking about the dream and the way it made me felt, the next thing I knew, I had lyrics being scribbled down. At one point, I sneaked to the break room and quietly sang the melody into a voice memo so I wouldn't forget how it went.
I don't remember much about the recording process. I know I had the thought to give it an 80s feeling, but I don't know if I did that, exactly. I do know that part of the second verse makes me think of the band R.E.M, for some reason.
track 7 - FAKE FRIENDS
This song was a a last minute addition to the EP. Hence the kinda rough recording.
If the title doesn't give away what this song is about, I'm fairly certain the album art will.
There have been many times in my life where I have been manipulated by people claiming to be my friend or that they were "looking out for me", when they were really only in it for themselves.
This song was me venting my frustration of how fake people can be and how frustrating it is. Sometimes I'd rather be alone than trying to sift through people's crap to find their true intentions. Some people are worth the crap, but some people really just aren't.
If the title doesn't give away what this song is about, I'm fairly certain the album art will.
There have been many times in my life where I have been manipulated by people claiming to be my friend or that they were "looking out for me", when they were really only in it for themselves.
This song was me venting my frustration of how fake people can be and how frustrating it is. Sometimes I'd rather be alone than trying to sift through people's crap to find their true intentions. Some people are worth the crap, but some people really just aren't.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read about the stories of Dreams EP and the tracks on it!
If you haven't already, head over to my SoundCloud or YouTube to give the album a listen!
I hope you have a great rest of your day!
♥,
R.
If you haven't already, head over to my SoundCloud or YouTube to give the album a listen!
I hope you have a great rest of your day!
♥,
R.
*Note from the author*
This is a slightly revised version of the stories. Originally, I made a post on my blog talking about the album and it's tracks back. It was published on December 30, 2018. If you are interested in reading the first draft, you can do so by following this link: crossedwires.weebly.com/blog/the-story-of-dreams-ep-12312018
This is a slightly revised version of the stories. Originally, I made a post on my blog talking about the album and it's tracks back. It was published on December 30, 2018. If you are interested in reading the first draft, you can do so by following this link: crossedwires.weebly.com/blog/the-story-of-dreams-ep-12312018
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